Friday 29 June 2012

Things you may not know about evolution...

I, like most others, considered the theory of evolution to be just that: a theory. Like with the theory of gravity I always assumed it to be once a theory that, over time has come to be proven as fact. Even when I turned to a theistic world view, I never disputed the cold, hard facts of Darwinism, and even now, after questioning it's very roots and emerging as a sceptic, I am not, and will not ever be arguing the case for creationism. Please, while reading this, try to forget that I believe in God if that's going to make you think along the lines of 'religious people believe in something I don't, therefore anything they say is ridiculous and untrue' because I have no time for people with that logic and those people are not the people I write my blogs for.

Now, ever since I can remember, the educational system has taught me and my peers about evolution as if it were fact. I remember seeing the picture that depicts ape's rise to man, learning about fossils and how of course 'we all used to be fish' even in primary school. When I got to my first year of secondary school, my science group was named the 'Darwin group' and I remember learning about the survival of the fittest, watching the same video of the Galapagos islands over and over again while trying not to fall asleep staring at the pictures of Darwin that adorned the walls of our classroom.

I never stopped to question it. The theory made sense, we were shown an example of two that seemed to qualify it, and besides, I was more interested in boys than biology. I believed unquestioningly in Darwinism until I read "The Case for a Creator" by Lee Strobel. Strobel is an investigative journalist and former atheist who, upon his wife's conversion to Christianity, decided to speak to some of the world's most esteemed scientists in order to try and answer what he thought was a question with an obvious answer - has science disproved God?

The first part of the book concentrates on Darwinism and whether it's really as fool-proof and untouchable as the world is being led to believe. The scientist that Strobel interviews for this part of the book is Jonathan Wells, PHD, PHD, who has a doctorate in molecular and cell biology, a doctorate in religious studies, has worked as a research biologist and wrote in many scholarly journals and articles, as well as authoring a book 'Icons of Evolution' that examines the key things that we are taught in school about evolution and finds them to be 'either false or misleading'.

The definition of evolution is that 'all living creatures are modified descendants of a common ancestor', not, as so many people believe, the assertion that all organisms within a single species are related through descent with modification, which all scientists will agree is a fact. Below are some examples of things the majority of us have been taught in schools that Wells has found to be false.

#1 The Stanley Miller experiment


In 1953 Stanley Miller shot electricity through an atmosphere like the one on primitive earth and created amino acids, the building blocks of life, the implication being that life could be created naturalistically, leaving no room for a creator, or 'God'. However, Miller used a hydrogen-rich mixture of methane, ammonia and water vapour to simulate the atmosphere of the early earth, but it has since been proven that the atmosphere on early earth was not like this at all but was instead made up of carbon dioxide, nitrogen and water vapour. When the experiment is repeated using a more realistic atmosphere, it is not amino acids that are produced but formaldehyde and cyanide - molecules that kill embryos - not exactly the right substrate for the origin of life!

Shockingly, none of this is in modern day textbooks so students everywhere are being taught information that is not misleading, but downright false.



#2 Darwin's 'Tree of Life'


One of the most iconic Darwinian images is his sketch of the 'tree of life' to illustrate his theory that all living creatures have a common ancestor. Darwin claimed that variation was a slow process and that 'no great or sudden modifications were possible' (remember this, it's important!). However, even in Darwin's day, the fossil evidence showed the opposite to this, which Darwin actually acknowledged. He believed that future fossil discoveries would vindicate his theory but that hasn't happened. Instead, scientists have uncovered information about 'the Cambrian explosion'. The Cambrian is a geological period that began 540 million years ago. Prior to this explosion, only jellyfish, sponges and worms were around, but suddenly, with this major explosion, hundreds of new species were born suddenly, out of nowhere, fully developed, that completely disproves Darwin's above quote. Descent from a common ancestor is true within certain species', such as the cat family of cats, tigers, lions etc., but the higher in the taxonomic hierarchy you go, at the level of the major animal groups, the evidence found just does not support Darwin's hypothesis.

#3 Haeckel's embryos


Ernst Haeckel's comparative drawings of embryos, often described as among the best evidence for Darwinism, are also not what they appear. Haeckel's images depict the embryos of a fish, salamander, tortoise, chicken, hog, calf, rabbit and human side by side in order to emphasise the striking similarities between them, obviously implying that Darwin's theory of a common ancestor is correct.

However, the similarities were faked. Yup, that's right. Faked. When you compare the drawings to photographs, the similarities seem to dwindle. In some cases, Haeckel even used the same woodcut to print embryos from different classes because he was so confident of his theory that he felt he didn't have to draw them individually. In other cases he doctored the images to make them look more similar than they really were. This was exposed in the 1860s when his colleagues accused him of fraud.

His drawings, though, are still used in upper-division textbooks on evolutionary biology, even though Steven Jay Gould of Harvard says that they are 'the equivalent of academic murder'.

Another problem with the drawings is that Haeckel cherry-picked his examples, showing animals that were more similar than he ones he omitted. For example, he used a salamander to represent all amphibians rather than a frog which looks very different. Also, Haeckel claimed the drawings depicted the earliest stages of development when in fact they showed the mid-point of development. This is relevant because Darwin claimed that similarities in the EARLY stages are evident of a common ancestor but embryologists discern that vertebrate embryos look very different in the early cell division stages, more similar in the mid-stages and then begin to look very different again. By drawing embryos at their midpoint and claiming that they were instead at their earliest stages in order for the results to agree with Darwin's theory, there is no doubt about it - Haeckel was manipulating the experiment in order to gain the results he wanted.

#5 The archaeopteryx 


When Darwin wrote 'The Origin of Species' he was well aware that fossil records failed to substantiate his theory. He attributed this problem to the fossil record being incomplete and predicted that future fossil discoveries would vindicate his theory. Sure enough, two years later, scientists discovered the archaeopteryx, thrilling Darwin's supporters. surely this 'missing link' between birds and reptiles would be the first or many fossil discoveries that would validate Darwin's claims.

However, Wells asserts that the archaeopteryx is anything but half-bird, half-reptile, saying 'It's a bird with modern feathers and birds are very different from reptiles in many important ways - their breeding system, their bone structure, their lungs and their distribution of weight and muscles. It's a bird, that's clear. Not part bird and part reptile.' Palaeontologists are agreed that the archaeopteryx is not the ancestor of modern birds. Larry Martin said that it is not an ancestor of modern birds but a member of a totally distinct group of birds. Even ardent evolutionist Pierre Lecomte du Nouy says 'We are not even authorised to consider the archaeopteryx as a true link.'

Since then scientists have been desperate to find the missing link between birds and reptiles, at almost any cost. A few years ago the National Geographic society announced they had found a link between birds and dinosaurs and showed an animal with the tail of a dinosaur and forelimbs of a bird, calling it the archaeoraptor, before a Chinese palaeontologist proved that someone had glued a dinosaur tail to a primitive bird - it was a hoax!

Wells said 'fakes are coming out of the fossil beds all the time because the fossil dealers know there's big money in it.' This has been backed up by ornithologist Alan Feduccia, a evolutionary biologist who said 'Archaeoraptor ia just the tip of the iceberg. There are scores of fake fossils out there and they have cast a dark shadow over the whole field. When you go to these fossil shows, it's difficult to tell which ones are faked and which ones are not. I have heard there is a fake fossil factory in northeast China, in Liaoning Province, near the deposits where many of these recent alleged feathered dinosaurs were found.'

Another example is that of the dinosaur 'bambiraptor', with added feathers and the artificial eyes used on stuffed eagles to make it appear more birdlike. Yet another forgery is that of the 'ape to man' illustrations that are the ultimate icon of Darwinism.

'Java man' as this missing link between apes and humans is nicknamed, is the result of Eugine Dubois digging some bones up from a riverbank in 1892 which he dated back half a million years. However, Java man consisted of nothing more than a skullcap, femur (thigh bone) and three teeth. The lifelike depiction of Java man was nothing more than speculation fuelled by evolutionary expectations of what he SHOULD have looked like IF Darwinism were true.

More recently discovered, Dubois' excavation would have disqualified the fossil from consideration by today's standards. In 1939, two experts, Ralph von Koenigswald and Franz Weidenreich revealed that Java man was a normal human being and Ernst Mayr from Havard also classified Java man as human in 1944. The femur didn't actually belong with the skullcap, and the skullcap itself, according to Sir Arthur Keith was distinctly human. A 342-page scientific report by 19 evolutionists also concluded that Java man played no part in human evolution.  

Henry Gee, science writer for Nature, concluded that 'the conventional picture of human evolution is a completely human invention created after the fact and shaped to accord with human prejudices.'

So to conclude? I'm not saying that over time species' can't change for the better. I'm merely highlighting the fact that some of the 'best' recorded evidence for Darwinism is either fraudulent or misleading. It's up to you to decide what that means for you. It sickens me to think that in schools, colleges and even universities all over the world, false information is being passed off as fact, information that science knows is false but refuses to correct because not only would it mean admitting that they are wrong about evolution but also that they essentially still have no idea how we are here.

Thursday 28 June 2012

The Friend Zone

This blog is in response to my friend Liam's entry (see http://paintthesilence1.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/friend-zone.html). Although extremely well-written with well-argued points, I have to say that I disagree with the entire concept of the male attitude towards the 'friend zone' and consequently this article really wound me up, not because of anything Liam had said, but because of 'advice' that other, successful websites are churning out in relation to men being 'friend zoned' by female friends.

Obviously, being 'friend zoned' can't be a pleasant experience, especially if the recipient is a nice guy that simply isn't well-versed in the art of flirtation and so prefers to take a more indirect approach by treating his female friends as just that, friends, when in actual fact he wants more, but I have to say (and I won't be winning any male supporters in saying this) if you are friend zoned, it is your fault, and I think that most girls will agree with me on this.

I'll make it simple. Girls favour a direct approach. I personally believe that the world would be a much less complicated place (and more people would get lucky in love) if they were honest about their feelings. If a guy is explicitly telling me he likes me, flirting with me, or asks me to go on a date with him, then I have the option of giving him two answers:

a) If I like the guy, I'll say yes and we'll see how we get along, both assured that we find the other attractive and so we don't need to worry 'does he/she likes me?' because it has already been established, or:

b) If I'm not attracted to him, I'll say no. Sure, rejection may be tough for the male pride to deal with at first but it's honest, it gives them a direct answer and leaves them free to ask somebody else out on a date. The man doesn't have to tolerate my platonic company for months before being rejected. He gets it out of the way as soon as his feelings become obvious to him, and it avoids awkward or messy ends.

I'm pretty direct myself. If I don't get the impression that somebody is attracted to me, I'll leave it alone, but if I do, my feelings will be pretty obvious. I don't see a point in beating around some metaphorical bush. It isn't embarrassing to be attracted to somebody, it's flattering if anything, and if they don't feel the same way about you then at least you'll have boosted their confidence and made them feel good about themselves. Really, what is the worst that can happen by being direct?

So why then, will men not learn?

It's common knowledge that men are commonly seduced by their eyes, meaning that if their leggy blonde friend turns around after two years of platonic friendship and expresses a desire for more, men will probably not understand the concept of 'but she's my friend, it would be weird' because they are visual creatures, and as long as they find their friend physically appealing, the fact that they are friends is not an issue. I know that not every single man in the entire world thinks this way but I'm applying a general rule that seems to fit the majority in order to illustrate my point, and hopefully give this kind of man a female perspective on it.

However, girls are more auditory creatures, meaning we are seduced by our ears. I am more likely to fall for somebody if they are flirtatious, funny and a bit cheeky than if they are an Adonis Greek god. For example, I could be friends with a male model for years and not want anything more BECAUSE WE ARE FRIENDS, and then somebody less physically attractive could come along and flirt with me and I'd be more likely to see him as a potential mate because he's making his intentions clear and 'seducing' me via the words he uses, rather than relying on a pretty face or years of friendship getting him some sort of creepy Brownie points.

Now, a little misunderstanding is fine. If guys insist on carrying on with the whole 'I'll be friends with her and secretly hope for more' approach which will inevitably lead to disappointment, as long as they're only hurting themselves, who am I to complain? However, often the guys aren't the only ones that get hurt in situations like this, but with their egocentric way of looking at the world, they don't see this and will more than likely see the girl in question as someone who 'led me on' before 'going for the wrong guy when I can make her happier'.

First off, quit with the 'she led me on' bullshit. I love my guy friends to bits. I make time to see them often and we always have a laugh together. If one of them were to turn around and say that my behaviour towards them qualified as 'leading them on' then I'd tell them to get their head out of their arse because if somebody is my FRIEND then of course I am nice to them and will give them more special treatment than a stranger on the street. 'Leading you on' would be telling you I liked you and telling you we have a future together, before getting with somebody else out of the blue, and as far as I am aware, girls aren't in the habit of doing that for kicks.

As for 'going for the wrong kind of guys', who are you to say that you could make her happier than the people she's actually attracted to? How arrogant are you to presume that the guys she actually likes are the 'wrong' kind? I'd much rather have a guy who was upfront about his intentions to sleep with me than somebody that pretended to be my friend and really care about me for months when in actual fact he runs home after seeing me to masturbate onto pictures of us together. I know which one I consider to be the more immoral of the two.

Many a time in the past, I've made friends with a guy, and been happy about it (because what's not to like about having a new friend?), and we've got along like a house on fire, talking about the people we like, getting drunk together, hanging about in the same circles, before the guy has told me he has feelings for me, I've responded that because we've been friends for months that's the way I now see him, and he's disappeared off the face of the earth. Am I to assume that our whole friendship was a fraud, a ploy to get me to fall in love with him and when that failed, he saw no reason to continue the friendship? I find that disgusting. It's false advertising, effectively 'leading somebody on' in the sense that you're pretending to be somebody's best friend when in actual fact your plan is to run a mile if that's all the girl wants to be.

Personally I think that boys need to grow up. Get some balls and tell a girl that you like that you like her. Don't pretend to be her friend for months before confessing your feelings because then you will have missed the boat and will only have yourself to blame. And don't, under any circumstance, try and manipulate your way out of the zone by subtly changing your behaviour towards the girl in question in some sort of weird ploy to trick her into feeling differently.

Liam quoted a site that advised people to be more touchy feely and play 'hard to get' by not seeing your friend as much, the ultimate goal of this being that absence will make their heart grow fonder and you will come back to your female friend lying naked on a bed covered in strawberries and cream. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you don't do this. If I found out that somebody I'd been close friends with for years was actually playing these sort of manipulative mind games with me (because that's what they are) then I'd be livid.

The trick to getting the girl is simple. As soon as you meet her, make your intentions clear. The worst that can happen is that your pride is wounded slightly if she doesn't find you attractive. Two examples of this being successful come from two of my best guy friends. I won't name them in case they think I'm ruining their chances with the ladies here but I know for a fact that in the past, both of the guys had lacked confidence around the opposite sex and as a result had had to suffer the 'friend zone' time and time again. However, on coming to university, you wouldn't think that at all. In clubs they approach all the girls they find attractive, because as one of them said 'the more you approach, the more chance someone's going to like you. If you don't approach them you're guaranteed not to get any girls', and it works! These guys see a girl they like and flirt with them, leaving no mystery as to their intentions. What they don't do is pretend to be honourable gentlemen whose only desire is to watch Twilight with girls and listen to them talk about other boys.

Don't, boys, under any circumstances pretend to be her friend, listening to her problems and showing a genuine interest in her feelings if you have an ulterior motive. It's shady, creepy and downright disrespectful. And guys, do us girls a favour and don't label us as cold hearted sluts if we aren't attracted to you. It's really not our fault if you fail to impress so stop shifting blame.



Wednesday 6 June 2012

Pippa Middleton

Now, I don't know a great deal about Pip other than that her bottom received more attention than her sister's wedding and that she's a reasonably (but not remarkably) attractive socialite who, as a result of her sister's expensive taste in men became famous. Is there much else to know? For the purpose of not looking like a total idiot, I did two minutes of Wiki research on Pippa's career to find that she works two days a week at the family business editing an online magazine about partying, and that she is writing a book about party planning. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now, it's nothing to do with me what Pippa wants to do with her life. Personally, no matter how much fame or money I had, I'd have to write or do some sort of charity work or I wouldn't be fulfilled and happy in myself but if Pippa gets fulfillment from spending her time in this way then I have no problem with it. However, I've recently stumbled upon an online debate that stemmed from an article Terence Blacker wrote on The Independent (http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/terence-blacker/terence-blacker-a-worse-role-model-than-any-page-3-girl-7661560.html) critiquing Time magazine for listing Pippa as one of the 100 most influential people in the world over every single politician in the UK.

Terance's point was very much akin to mine: there is nothing wrong with Pippa's life, per se, but she definitely does not deserve a place on that list. She came to fame though none of her own doing, and has not used that fame to influence anyone to do anything other than party, and you can forget philanthropy, the only charity Pippa seems to give is not getting offended at the millions of people making a big fuss about her bottom. Maybe that tight dress was her idea of giving something 'back' to society, excusing the pun?

However, the comments on the article, which have now unfortunately been disabled, were attacking Terence for picking on an innocent girl who has received this attention though no fault of her own, which, correct me if I'm wrong, is entirely missing the point. Terence stressed multiple times that it was society he had a gripe with, not Pippa, and I must say that the comments only seemed to prove his point further. Rather than step back and think "Yes, it is a shame that British politicians and philanthropists lost out to a woman who's only talent is planning royal piss-ups and stealing her sister's glory on her wedding day", they stuck up for her, which in my opinion, only shows that we are far too obsessed with celebrity culture to the point where it is becoming unhealthy. Obviously, celebrity gossip rags are very successful, and I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with buying Heat! magazine or watching the Kardashian sisters have hair extensions glued in or whatever it is those women do, but when those things take priority over real issues in society it becomes worrying.

Other celebs on the list that are more famous for their sex lives than politics included Rihanna and Adele. Now really, I must take issue with this. If, Time magazine, you want to include pop stars or Hollywood celebrities on your list of influential people than how about Angelina Jolie? The woman is involved in all manner of charity, and, with her superstar status, has successfully raised awareness of the issues that she is passionate about, while still managing to maintain a glossy career as an actress. She instills values such as charity, a hard-work ethic and the importance of family, while celebrities such as Rihanna advocate sleeping with the very same man who beat her to a pulp just a couple of years ago (check out Birthday Cake if you don't believe me) and how it is imperative that you must wear as little as possible while being a provocative as possible in order to be successful at anything, while Adele promotes being a psycho ex girlfriend and writing entire albums about the same man while drunk. Seriously Adele, what happened to being a strong independent woman? I'd rather listen to Survivor by Destiny's Child than Adele crooning about how heartbroken she is for an entire album. (Don't get me wrong, I like Adele's songs, but I'd hardly say they're a good influence!)

It's a sad thing if strong, opinionated women don't appear on the list (Rihanna could be said to be those things, I guess, but one could argue that by sexualising herself to such an extent, she is essentially an object for the male gaze rather than an independent career woman) yet people like Adele who make riches off the back of men who have broken their hearts or Pippa, who's only concern is what dress to wear to Friday's event, are considered to be one of the 100 most influential people IN THE WORLD.



Sunday 3 June 2012

Short fiction - Hidden Damage

This is a story about the emotional effects of domestic abuse that I wrote a couple of months ago but never put online because I had a boyfriend at the time so I didn't want people to think it was about him haha. The inspiration came from a book I was reading, titled 'Mirror Mirror' which is a book of short fiction that is not as it appears. The stories are entirely in metaphor. Anyway I visualised this piece as part of an ad campaign against domestic abuse, but as I am a writer and not a media buff, I had to keep it to fiction instead. Hope you enjoy!

Hidden Damage
Ophelia's heart was on the floor in front of them, beating softly, right next to her brain, which was slightly more disgusting because it looked like an oversized maggot, and a dead one at that.
She used to love her two most vital organs being there in the open like that. They got a bit overworked in her body and so meeting Sebastian and being given the opportunity to take them out of her body for a while and leave them entrusted in his care had been a comforting one.
Sebastian had taken her heart and it's companion and laid them side by side on his pillow. He knew that until him, Ophelia had kept them locked inside her, never letting them breathe the open air of a boy's bedroom, or worse still be touched by one.
However, that was then and now Ophelia's organs were getting sick. Her heart kept racing unexpectedly, making it difficult to breathe and her neurotransmitters weren't half making it difficult to smile these days. She'd told Sebastian that she feared he may be neglecting them and mused over whether she should take over the responsibility of looking after them for a while but he had begged and pleased against this, saying he would surely die if he couldn't have full control over those things that once he had cherished so.
In it's run down and vulnerable state, her brain had given into the plea and Ophelia watched hazily from the bed as Sebastian now stamped on her heart with his foot over and over, throwing it against the wall, taking slow, deliberate chunks out of it with a kitchen knife.
Her brain he took a different approach with. He systematically destroyed it, splitting it in two and juggling with the pieces, singing songs about things that never happened and grinning at his progress, the devilish curl of his lip not quite meeting his empty eyes.
Those eyes.
So many people had commented on them. How something just wasn't there. How something was not quite right.
Sebastian spat on Ophelia's organs and pummelled them one more time for good measure before handing them back to Ophelia with a wry smile.
"I had to do it. You made me. Can't you see I had no choice?" he shrugged, not quite apologetically.
Ophelia's hand didn't react at first as her organs were pushed into it, black and bleeding and barely there. After a time, she wasn't sure how long, she forced them back into their rightful places. Her brain was so swollen she feared it would explode inside her head and create a mess and her heart struggled to find a rhythm it could stick to.
Knees shaking she stood and made her way back home. On the surface she was beautiful.
She wondered what her friends, what society would think if they could peer inside her and see the real damage, hidden beneath a layer of skin so strong she doubted anybody ever could penetrate it to see the truth. Knees buckling, she fainted.

Humbert - Flash Fiction


His thumb circled the milky pink areola of her erect nipple, smiling as she moaned, fingernails digging into his back as he made love to her, each second bringing them closer.
Beautiful.
He nibbled her earlobe and she arched her back.
57. Still got it.
Slowly, slowly, he rocked them to orgasm, holding her as she came, sobbing.
“Oh John, I love you, I love you.”
The minute hand on the Disney Princess clock struck twelve.
He smiled tenderly at her, stroked her cheek, brushed a strand of yellow hair from her eyes.
“Happy twelfth birthday my love.”

Short Fiction

Another assignment I've submitted for university that also got me a first so it mustn't be too bad:


Dearest Sarah,
Your 18th birthday should be a time of happiness. A time where you have successfully grown through childhood and adolescence and are ready for womanhood. Eighteen is an age where you are fit to produce your own child, and you have a good man in Thomas. I know that once married, he will care for you in replacement of I, who must now stop and accept that you are no longer my little girl and responsibility.
I am not scared of letting you go and venture into the world without me by your side, as I know that you are a sensible and responsible young woman, and the time is right for me to hand you over to Thomas' care and trust that you will find your place in the world. However, in letting you go, I must also reveal to you the truth about your family. You are old enough now to handle the information sensibly, and as an adult, you have the right to know.
It is imperative that you keep this information a secret, even from Thomas. For your own safety, you must burn this letter after you have read it. What I am about to tell you, though it may not seem it, is a matter of life and death, and if this information gets into the wrong hands than my efforts as a mother have all been in vain and I will have failed us both.
I will begin.
We have not always lived here in Gaul. I say we but I mean I, I have not always lived here. I moved here when I was pregnant with you, for reasons that I am about to disclose. You have always asked me about your father. I am so terribly sorry that growing up fatherless has had such an effect on you, and I understand that it has been very hard for you to deal with the rumours about me and what kind of woman I must be. For so long, I have not been able to tell you, but now I can reveal to you that your father and I were married and that I am now widowed. He died when I was pregnant with you, at the age of 33. How I wish he died of illness but, alas, he was put to death for a crime he did not commit. So many sinners live in this world, my love, but your father was not one of them. I will even go so far as to say that he was completely without sin. He was the most forgiving man I have ever met, and even his last words did not contradict this. As he took his final breath, faced with jeering crowds who mocked and insulted him, he uttered a prayer to God, asking God to forgive these men, saying that their ignorance was not their fault.
Sadly, this is not the full story. As devastating as your father's untimely end was, I couldn't stay in our home and raise you around his family. You would have loved his mother. She was by my side throughout the whole ordeal and she was heartbroken when I had to leave with you but she understood why I had to. You see my darling, your father was quite a controversial man. He came into this world to put things right. He saw crimes and atrocities being committed and he made it his life's mission to make the world a more compassionate and forgiving place. Everybody that met him saw the good in him, and as a result of this he gained quite a following. People literally worshipped him. However, as with all political rebels, the authorities didn't like him one bit. They saw him as a cult leader, somebody with delusions of grandeur who was successfully disrupting the order of things.
You'd think that killing the poor man would be enough for these people, but before your father was killed, he'd asked me to carry on his teachings. Well, you can imagine the stir that that caused. Not only were the authorities in cahoots but even his best friends became jealous and bitter. Understandably: he'd chosen a woman over them! One of them, Peter, was quite the sexist, and hated the thought of playing second fiddle to his friend's wife. He quite obviously thought that I should stay in the kitchen and leave the real work to him and his friends.
Until then, I could never have imagined the lengths that men will go to for personal gain. A smear campaign was born, and it wasn't long before everybody in my town believed the lies. In societies' eyes, I was nothing more than a common whore.
Why? Surely the fact that I was a mere woman was enough for them to be able to take over my husband's teachings? Sadly not. You see, your father was from a very powerful family, as am I. You'll have heard of it. The House of Benjamin. As a result of this, any child that your father and I were to produce would have a legitimate claim to the throne, and could therefore overrule your father's bigoted and power-hungry friends. The smear campaign was necessary to blacken my name and take away my voice. After all, who would ever listen to a prostitute?
Although the campaign was successful and his friends were able to create their own church in the name of my husband, I couldn't risk staying in that town in case my true identity was discovered. I'd watched my husband be tortured for threatening the church authorities and I simply could not risk them doing the same to you. Because, my God, you would have threatened them. The thought of your father having a child terrifies everybody, and so, for your own safety, I have had to deny you your birthright and allow these evil men to rise to power. Words cannot describe how sorry I am for the way that your life has turned out. You deserve so much more than I can possibly give you here in Gaul, and none of that is your fault. Thoughts of what could have been haunt me every single day, and all I can do is trust that God will look after us both. You may laugh at me for placing trust in God after such a cruel miscarriage of justice but believe me darling, I know that he is there.
I know that without doubt, my love, because your father's name was Jesus.
I love you so much,
Mother.

Poetry

Here are a couple of poems I submitted last semester for one of my assignments. Personally I don't think they're any good but I got a first on them so perhaps I'm the next Shakespeare in the running. The first two are sonnets, the last is projectivist.

Love 2011

We wake up naked, tattoos kissing
Mascara on the sheets.
My mouth is dry, dignity missing -
I hastily retreat.
Tomorrow night – it's you again,
A pill sits on your tongue.
I tell myself I should abstain -
Willpower isn't strong.
See modern love is just like this
No roses, rings or letters
But wait – now Facebook knows we've kissed
so everything is better!
As now one thousand strangers know,
Our union can start to grow.

Faith
Back here again, an empty room
My loyal friend returns.
This can't be real, it's all too soon
My skin, it screams, it burns.
And where are You, in all of this,
When Your presence really matters?
My faith was but a stolen kiss,
My trust in You is shattered.
I cry for You to stop me falling,
My prayers, it seems, in vain.
And then Your spirit hears my calling
And hope bleeds through my pain.
As now it seems the battle's won,
I thank You God, You and Your son. 

The Festival
She sat baking in the tent, sweaty
didn't want to get up
didn't want to face them,
the world,
everything.

Depression is a crazy thing.

Crazy when you're avoiding your wellies, caked in mud
and the Malibu in plastic cups.
Sausages on paper plates.
There's a tray of greasy chips in there with her
Cold and slimy like a bitter heart
and she can hear Rage blasting from the main stage
Two blonde heads appear – come out, come out

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.  

The Linnet Bird


The Linnet Bird by Linda Holeman is a book I've just finished reading and it's definitely one of the best books I've read in a long while, if not one of the best I've ever read.

The tale begins in 1823, when Linny Gow tells of the man who has raised her as his daughter selling her body to men the year she turns eleven. The man in question, Ram, forces Linny to service all manner of men in nineteenth century Liverpool, taking all the profits for himself, before eventually, Linny nearly loses her life at the hands of a crazed opium addict and vows to make her own way in the world, running from Ram but not from her way of life. As prostitution is the only thing she knows, and is a way of making money fast, Linny works at a whore house, frugally saving money in the hope that eventually she will be able to start a new life in America.

However, after suffering both a miscarriage and losing all the money she has saved in the space of a few short hours, Linny is taken under the wing of Shaker, a kindly man who encourages her to stop living the way she is doing in exchange for a roof over her head, clean clothes and food, expecting nothing in return. Linny takes up life and friendship with Shaker, but it is not enough, and eventually she heads to India with her friend Faith in the hope of a better life and the independence she has always dreamt of.

It soon becomes clear though, that life in India is not the exciting and cultured experience that Linny had dreamt of. Having had to adopt a new surname and invent a past in which she wasn't a working class whore but a lady of class looking for a husband, Linny's life revolves around tea parties, gossiping and posing, having no choice but to attract a husband at the implicit threat of being shipped back to England if she is unsuccessful in the task. Shocked at the harsh treatment of the natives and the way in which women are expected to behave, Linny wishes to remain in India independently but eventually she is blackmailed into a marriage of convenience that results in her being beaten and her freedom being taken away from her by a man who has the power to destroy her if she doesn't dance to the beat of his drum.

Without spoiling much more of the plot, I'd definitely recommend this book. It makes for an excellent feminist, Marxist or post-colonial reading due to the underlying themes of sexism, racial and class oppression on almost every page, but for those less interested in sociology the vivid descriptions of the foods, smells and sights in India make for a beautifully written prose that shouldn't fail to disappoint. The plot is tight and fast-paced, the narrative of the adorable Linny is about the most engaging that I've come across, and there are so many twists and turns that it is almost impossible to put down. Even for people who are not usually book lovers, I'd recommend this book as it is of not the dry, dragging style that many classics or pretentious best sellers are, but it runs as smoothly as a film, and I really do challenge anybody to read it and not be a fan of literature afterwards.

It's like like Moll Flanders by Defoe meets Evelina by Burney, meets Memoirs of a Geisha, but better than all three. Please go out and buy this book, I can't stress the point enough!

How to beat stress!


Until recently I never believed the people that said stress can make you physically ill. I thought stress was something that 40-somethings got after a long day in the office, and consequently used it as an excuse to be foul to anybody that dared to cross their path. However, it turns out I was wrong (I know, a rare occurrence but it happens to the best of us). Half a million people in the UK experience work-related stress at a level they believe is making them ill and twelve million adults see their GPs with mental health problems EACH YEAR, much of them stress related. These statistics are worrying and with exam season having well and truly hit thousands of students like me, I thought I'd highlight just what the physical symptoms of a stress related illness can be and give some tips on how to beat it!

So what can you expect if stress and anxiety are starting to have a physical effect on you?
Well first of all your body will react to it in a number of ways including:

breathlessness
headaches
feeling sick or dizzy
fainting spells
chest pains
panic attacks
tendency to sweat
constant tiredness
restlessness
sleeping problems
constipation or diarrhoea
indigestion or heartburn
lack of appetite
sexual difficulties
nervous twitches
cramps or muscle spasms
pins and needles
high blood pressure

You may also experience feelings of:

aggressiveness
irritability
depression
feeling neglected
taking no interest in life
dreading the future

And your behaviour may experience changes such as:

difficulty making decisions
problems concentrating
inability to show true feelings
frequently crying

Now obviously nobody wants to suffer from even one of these symptoms, but the thing with stress and anxiety is that chances are you will suffer from the majority depending on how bad your situation is, and once you're suffering from it, you can become stressed about the fact that you're stressed, which leads to more stress! Now I've scoured the web and given some of my own tips from personal experience about how to handle stress so hopefully they may prove useful to a few of you :)

1. Spend time outside
It's ridiculous how much people seem to forget that it really can be as simple as getting some sunshine! Going for a walk, drinking your Costa outside rather than in or revising outside rather than in your bedroom with the blinds down can all help you feel much better. Lack of sunlight can, in extreme cases cause SAD, which is depression that occurs in the winter months as a result of little or no sun exposure, so what are you waiting for? Get outside!

2. Spend time doing what you love
Everybody has a passion, something that really fulfils them. For me it's writing. Whenever I feel down I'll do some creative writing or write a blog and I find that it always helps, purely because I get so absorbed in what I'm doing that my mind is distracted from whatever I'm worrying about, so whether it's playing music, painting pictures or playing some kind of sport, lose yourself in something that you enjoy doing and you'll reap the benefits.

3. Exercise and eat well
It may sound contrived but everybody says that pigging out on chocolate and ice cream helps when you feel down when in actual fact there's nothing worse you can do! If you want to boost your mood then drink gallons of water and eat plenty of fruit, veg and carbs for energy. And exercise! Up until about six months ago I'd never have been caught dead in a gym but since getting my membership I definitely don't regret it. As well as burning off the excess calories from that drinking binge last night, it gives you an endorphin rush that instantly puts you in a better mood and leaves you feeling fresh.

4. Vent to others
Without my mum and best mate Becky, I don't know where I'd be. Whether I have a genuine problem that I need them to advise me about, or am getting myself worked up over something stupid, there's nothing that helps more than someone helping you find solutions to your problems or saying "No, you're being crazy. But it's fine because I'm worse" before amusing you with stories of just how neurotic they can be and you bond over your shared psychotic tendencies.

5. Herbal teas
There are absolutely LOADS of herbal teas that are great for various ailments and you don't have to look far to find stress-busting teas that help relieve anxiety and sleep problems. It's really just a matter of personal taste so try experimenting with chamomile, ginseng, lavender, skullcap and linden to find something to suit you. Herbal teas not only taste great but they really do help, my mum swears by them and I dread to think what my insides would be like if it wasn't for my regular dose of green tea!

6. Pamper yourself
Often stress can stem from self-neglect. Caring about other people more than yourself and running yourself into the ground trying to please everybody else. To try and minimise you neglecting number one, try and save a little time every day to caring about yourself, whether it means coming home and having a candlelit bubble bath, cooking your favourite meal, watching your fave feel-good film over and over or going to bed in nothing but a splash of expensive perfume, make sure it feels good to YOU. Even just getting up that little bit earlier in the morning to apply your make up properly or style your hair can work wonders for your confidence, which in turn reduces stress levels as you can walk into work with your head held high and enjoy the respect you deserve.

7. Find your spiritual path
Since becoming a Christian I can honestly say the quality of my life and my mindset has improved a million times over and it's 100% due to my God and the faith I have in him. Whether you find yourself drawn to a mainstream religion or New Age crystal gazing, find something that gives you comfort enough to believe in without doubt and you'll find the stresses slipping away. Trusting that a higher power will look after you and never let things get too bad is a difficult thing to do but if you can do it it works wonders for you as you can stop worrying about "what if's" and start living in the present.

8. Let your hair down!
The past few weeks have been an absolute nightmare for me, and without my friends insisting that I go out with them a couple of nights a week I dread to think what state I'd be in. It sounds silly but being surrounded by people in an environment that is too loud and crowded to think about anything does help as long as you don't overdo it and nothing relieves stress quicker than a drink and a dance with the people you love the most. It's complete escapism.

9. Laugh
It's strange but true: laughing actually improves your mood. Not only this but it also boosts the immune system and energy and diminishes pain. It also improves blood flow which can protect against heart attacks and relieves physical tension brought on by stress, so stick some stand up comedy on because it really is good for your health!

10. Be thankful for what you have
If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world. If you have money in the bank, your wallet and some spare change you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. Here in Britain we are so lucky to live the lives we lead but we waste them complaining about things that don't matter. We complain that our iPhone is not the latest model or that we can't afford three nights out in a week, or that we got one mark off an A in exams that most people aren't even blessed enough to sit. Next time you're worrying about something minor, actually take a few minutes to count your blessings. Whether you're happy with your social life, the direction your career is taking, your possessions or family, whatever it is make sure you are grateful for it.

11. Don't be ashamed of asking for help
Sometimes online tips like this just aren't enough and anxiety can build up and make you really quite ill. Fortunately, the stigma associated with mental illness is second to none in today's society and the mental health system is advancing with the development of CBT and other practical therapies that have been proven to be more effective than past therapies such as psychoanalysis and behavioural therapy. A full course of CBT is usually about 12 weeks long and it takes your personal view of things into account while giving you practical tips for dealing with depression and anxiety in day to day life.

The Rochdale Child Groomers: Let's Attack the Muslims!


After watching the case regarding the paedophile-ring in Rochdale in which nine men have been convicted of sexually abusing five girls over a period of six years, my first thought was 'how awful it is that it took so long to get these men jailed' and 'how could this go unnoticed for so long?' as well as concern for the well being of the girls at present.

Despite eight of the men being of Pakistani origin and one of Afghanistan origin, my mind made no connection between the race and religion of these men and the crimes that they had committed. Why should it? There are many white paedophiles and child abusers. Sadly, child abuse happens too regularly in the UK. Government statistics show that nearly a quarter of young adults in the UK experienced sexual abuse during childhood and there were 17,727 sexual crimes against children under 16 recorded in England and Wales in 2010/2011. Now, I can't be sure, but as a white person who lives in a predominantly white country, I can only assume that the perpetrators of the majority of these crimes were white. However, it's hard to find statistics on the correlation between ethnicity and child abuse because, for some strange reason, sociologists seem to think that it doesn't matter what colour you are. How shocking is that?

Britain is a multicultural society. The 2001 census showed that only 85.67% of people living in Britain are White British, and so surely the crime rates must accommodate that? Surely if 100% of criminals were White British than white people would be overrepresented within the crime statistics and that would be bad news? Surely, in a country that is inhabited by people from all over the world, some of the crime committed must be committed by those people?

So the Rochdale paedophile ring were all Asian. So? There are probably hundreds of white paedophile rings in the UK that are just not as publicised in the media as the above case. The media loves to scaremonger and it will take any excuse it can to demonise the Muslim community. I'm aware that this is quite a bold assertion to make but it's true. The Daily Mail is known for distorting information beyond belief in order to render the British population as scared and paranoid 'individuals' who can do nothing but wait with baited breath for the next issue to come out so that they can be reassured that, yes, we will be under Sharia law by 2014 unless we get the Muslims out NOW and that everything gives you cancer.

Judge Gerald Clifton, as he was jailing the men, said "All of you treated the victims as if they were worthless and beyond any respect. One of the factors leading to that was that they were not part of your community or religion." This is not bullshit that is stuttered out by ogres from the EDL. This is the rhetoric uttered by the judge in charge of the case and it's shocking and downright worrying that he has been allowed to make these wild assertions with no proof whatsoever that religion or race was an issue. Simon Danczuk, the Labour MP for Rochdale backed the judge up, stating "There is a subculture of a small group of males that are Asian, that are collaborating to abuse young white girls who are vulnerable." Am I the only one who thinks the race of these people is irrelevant? I have no doubt that the criminals treated the victims as if they were worthless and "beyond any respect" but I don't believe that this had anything to do with the fact that the girls were white! My humble opinion is that perhaps child abusers have no respect for children, regardless of ethnicity or class. Perhaps the lack of respect comes from the fact that their victims are young and defenceless and that this is precisely what gets these sick men off.

All the judge's comments have done is trigger even more hate and Islamophobia than there already is in this country. Muslim groups say that they have experienced a surge in abusive phone calls and hate mail since the trial ended last week and Liverpool Crown Court, where the trial took place, has been picketed by hundreds of EDL and BNP protesters who have used this case, exploiting the girls' ordeal, in order to stigmatise the Muslim community even further. The beginning of the trial had to be delayed in the first place due to two Asian defence barristers being attacked outside the courtroom.

At a time like this, when the morale of our country is low, we do not need to be hating on entire groups within the community when they have done nothing wrong. I've not read the Qur'an but I find it difficult to believe that Islam advocates child sexual abuse.

The issue, I feel, is that of parenting. The parents of one of the girls involved worried when she began receiving phone calls off much older men and didn't like the fact that she was hanging around with them at night. however, rather than keep their child under lock and key and refuse to let her out of the house of speak to the men on their phone, they packed her off to social services, and then blamed the system for failing their little girl when she chose to continue hanging around with these men, which ultimately culminated in the abuse. I know it's a pretty controversial thing to say, especially because these adults have obviously been through a devastating time recently, but I find it disgusting that they are blaming the social workers for their own, in my opinion, failures as parents. They were both physically, mentally and financially fit to look after a child but chose to shirk their responsibilities and then complain when things didn't end well. It's just like the Madeleine McCann case - do you remember her? The girl whose parents left their children in an open hotel room in a foreign country to go out to eat and then blamed everybody else when they child disappeared?

If we really want to combat crimes such as this, then of course we need to address the reasons why some adults abuse children, but we also need learn how to bring our children up well. It's no coincidence that the abuse happened in Rochdale, where teen pregnancies are above and beyond the national average and a district in Rochdale has been named as Britain's "welfare capital" after findings that 84% of it's residents are claiming state benefits. Parenting in Britain has deteriorated significantly in years gone by and it is this, rather than the large Muslim population, that is the reason for the rise in crime. If parents learned to look after their children and bring them up properly then maybe we wouldn't be seeing stories like this so regularly. Yes, it wasn't the children themselves committing the crimes in this instance, but we must ask ourselves why young girls are running to much older men to spend time with. If a man had approached me when I was 12, asking me to come upstairs in his shop and drink alcohol with him, I'd have run a mile, because from before I could even walk I've had the whole "don't talk to strangers" mantra drilled into me. Maybe this is the reason that I've not been a victim of crime such as this...

Misquoting God: Homosexuality


I'm about to write possibly the most challenging blog I've ever had to in answer to one simple question "Does the bible condemn homosexuality?" I'm not here to muse on whether it's right or wrong. I'm questioning the black words printed upon white pages of Christianity's Holy Book, the inspired Word of God.

I have done research for the New Testament but I figure this entry will be far too long and boring to include that in this entry so that'll have to be another time. This entry is questioning the Old Testament's attitude towards homosexuality.

Ok, so where does homosexuality actually come into the bible? It's first instance is in Leviticus:

Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination.[2](Leviticus 18:22 KJV)
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.[3](Leviticus 20:13 KJV)

There doesn't seem to be any disputing the pragmatics of that, right?

Wrong.

Michael England asserts that forbidding certain sexual acts was a way to distinguish between religious worship and Abrahamic and surrounding pagan faiths. In such faiths, homosexual acts featured as part of idolatrous rituals which are condemned in Christianity. England says that at the time, these instructions would have been seen as prohibiting these fertility rituals: not homosexuality. He points out that the word "abomination" is consistently used in reference to idolatry and idolatrous practises throughout the Old Testament. George Edwards agrees with this, saying that "the context of the two prohibitions in Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 suggest that what is opposed is not same-sex activity outside the cult, as in the modern secular sense, but within the cult identified as Canaanite". 


This would agree with other experts, who see some aspects of the Old Testament as being relevant to the time that they were written in but not so in today's society. They assert that in addition to the bible's spiritual components, it also contains material that reflects what it's authors believed about God and their cultural sensibilities, which agrees with my previous point. Thus, scholars raise the assertion that the parts of the bible that relate to "slavery, war, genocide, the marginalisation of women and homosexual activity may be the predominant culture's opinions at the time of the passage's writing."


Now, meaning of the text aside, we must decide whether, even if it DOES mean that homosexuality is wrong, is this relevant? Leviticus falls under Mosaic Law, and different churches have different opinions on whether or not the Law of Christ has made Mosaic Law irrelevant. Protestants, for example, have the view that NONE of Mosaic Law is relevant and Roman Catholics, which are often seen as the final authority in Christianity, say that only the ten commandments should be observed. Fundamentalists of course would argue that every single word of the bible must be observed but these are the same people that people dinosaur fossils were sent to "test our faith" and that, despite clear scientific evidence on the contrary, the world is less than ten thousand years old so excuse me if I leave those people's opinions out of this for now. 


The predominant view is that Jesus mediated a new covenant which teaches that it is through this that God offers atonement to mankind. Much of Mosaic Law DOES appear in Jesus' words and teachings, however, much of it doesn't, including the laws about animal sacrifice, which Jesus does not advocate, and homosexuality, which is not mentioned ONCE in the four gospels, which are widely acknowledged to be the biographies of Jesus' life and actions. 


Furthermore, Dispensationalism "holds that Mosaic Laws and the penalties attached to them were limited to the particular historical and theological setting of the Old Testament. In that view, the Law was given to Israel and does not apply since the age of the New CovenantReplacing the Mosaic Law is the 'Law of Christ', which however holds definite similarities with the Mosaic Law in moral concerns, but is new and different, replacing the original Law."


Basically, even if homosexuality IS preached as being wrong in this (which there is debate on), most churches are under the impression that this law is irrelevant due to the new covenant. This shows me that homosexuality cannot be shown to be DEFINITELY wrong in the Old Testament as there are so many conflicting theories on it, so we should leave our prejudices at the door.


I am well aware that there are passages in the New Testament that many people interpret as being against homosexuality but that's for another time. This, very brief analysis quite obviously concludes that homosexuality is not prohibited in the Old Testament. 

Why is it so frowned upon to go against the grain?


I am not your average teenager. I'm a born again Christian, I love to write, I collect books, I'm obsessed with conspiracy theories, I'd prefer to get a takeaway than eat salad whilst moaning about how fat I am and the thought of going clubbing more than two nights a week doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. I'm more at home sitting in a pub with a pint and a couple of my close guy mates than I am in Topshop, I hate Hollywood films and am too weird to dress normally yet not cool enough to be...well...cool. My taste in music ranges from Rage Against The Machine to Yeasayer to Nicki Minaj and I love getting into debates with people, which I quickly found out after joining the debating society is definitely not a thing normal people do.

However, I'm proud of my quirks. If I didn't like who I was then I wouldn't be this way. I'm far happier in my own skin with my own interests than I would be dumbing myself down to impress some indie boy in 5th Avenue or to make some bitchy girls want to be friends with me. Why would I want to change? I'm just as happy with my own company as I am with that of other people, and if my only interests were getting drunk and watching The Only Way is Essex then I don't see how I could be. What would I do when the parties finished and the good TV shows stopped?

Nothing. I'd be lost. If my entire personality was shaped by my social life and my friends then I'd probably not be able to survive if I had a couple of weeks where I couldn't afford to go out, or if I wasn't fortunate enough to be a member of social networking sites, meaning that my friends are available literally 24 hours a day should I need them to be.

I find it sad that I am considered the oddity in this situation. I'd absolutely hate to be anyone but myself. I know that I'm not for everyone (God help us if everybody was like me) but a little individuality and passion for something is nothing to be ashamed of! I use Twitter fairly frequently to promote my blog and boast about my life to people that don't care, and since being a member, it's come to my attention that Jodie Marsh has been getting abuse for the fact that she's taken up body building. Sure, it's not to everyone’s' taste (hell, I don't even like muscular men, never mind women!) but I have so much respect to the woman for putting so much time and effort into something that she's passionate about. Yeah, maybe she's doing it because it's getting her a lot of publicity but maybe, just maybe, she's found something in her life that she feels is her calling and is sticking to it no matter how it changes people's view of her. I don't see anything wrong with glamour modelling: if it's the thing you're passionate about then own it, but obviously it wasn't for Jodie, and if she's happier turning her body into something she can win competitions with rather than just winning the prize for most-masturbated-over-woman of year X then who are we to judge? How dare a woman decide to start empowering herself!

It saddens me that people like the Kardashian sisters trend on Twitter (for doing what exactly?) while people like Jodie are attacked. In today's postmodern society, we should be more tolerant of individuality and the freedom to do pretty much whatever we want, but we're not. Society is changing but our values aren't and it's disgusting. Why should anybody adhere to this stereotype of what is considered 'normal' and acceptable, when really, I don't find it very acceptable at all! I don't find it acceptable that women can get admiration for parading around mansions that they didn't earn while bitching about how terrible their lives are while children are starving to death or being beaten and abused and people aren't even aware of it because Cheryl Cole has a new album coming out. I find it sad that the Kony 2012 campaign only took off because it was trending on Twitter. Sure, it's great that Twitter made people aware of an important issue in record time but it shouldn't have to be the case. We should be reading the news ourselves rather than just stumbling upon it in between narcissistic rants about how wonderful we are and looking for the latest Hollywood gossip.

Angelina Jolie is in my opinion perhaps one of the most inspirational women alive today, but nobody cares about her charity work and passion for making a difference in unfortunate children's lives because all anybody can talk about is her latest action film or speculate about how happy she is in her marriage when she says herself that after seeing some of the things that she's witnessed she will never again complain about things that don't matter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEzuBwifyAk&feature=related ).

There's nothing wrong with unwinding and watching Take Me Out on a Saturday night for a little light relief, but when it gets to the stage where you're frowned upon if you don't buy into the celebrity gossip and nightclub culture there's something wrong. Why would we crave mediocrity when we can do anything we please? We've been born into a world where almost anything is possible. I don't want to say 'everybody in Britain' because I don't want to be so arrogant as to assume I know anything about sociology but I would guess that the majority of people born into this country are born with a roof over their heads, a bed to sleep in every night and food to eat. They're born with clothes to wear, they're given an education, money is thrown at anybody who doesn't wish to earn it for themselves and yet all we aspire to is to buy Heat magazine every week, live off ready meals and become hooked on Coronation Street. It's pathetic! Why is it the minority who want to make a difference in somebody's life, or to climb to the top and be the man in the suit that produces The Jeremy Kyle Show rather than the guy slobbing around in his tracksuit waiting for the same show to get back to him about his lie detector results?

Why do we not have individual desires and dreams? Why are we content with the norm that society offers us (you know, 2.5 children, a dog, a semi-detached house in a suburb and a nine to five job that pretty much guarantees you'll cheat on your spouse at some point due to the sheer boredom of it all)? I was talking to my beeautiful girl Paige about this a couple of weeks ago and she told me about how she wants to spend years travelling when she finishes university. She's read about different landmarks, temples and festivals that she wants to go to and she doesn't see the point in settling down when she hasn't even lived yet, and I couldn't agree more! The thing that Paige and I couldn't understand was why people look at us so blankly when we tell them about our dreams. Why they are confused as to why we would possibly want anything more than to get a job, get married and have children before the age of 25. I couldn't think of anything worse to do personally but that isn't the point. The point is that it shouldn't matter. It shouldn't be shocking that we both want to do something that would make us happier than what other people want to do, just as it shouldn't be classed as weird if any of my peers wanted to invest more energy into an interest or hobby of theirs than doing body shots off some toned beauty.

We live in a society where we can do anything we like, and where we're surrounded by people who differ from one another, whether that be by religion or dress (I'd love to see a goth hand in hand with a cheerleader) or any other variable that you can possibly think of. We should be celebrating people's differences, not punishing them. Let's move our views into the 21st century instead of just our bodies.  

Presumptions about Christianity


Just over a year ago, I became a Christian. Prior to this, I'd never been a militant atheist but I'd never given much thought to the possibility that there could be an all-seeing, all-powerful deity that could change my life in any way. I lived as secular a life as an atheist. Just like the vast majority of atheists, I thought that Christians were narrow-minded, bigoted individuals who ignored scientific facts in favour of Biblical 'facts' that have been disproved countless times. I didn't understand how Christians could make these wild claims about the world being only 6000 years old and as a result of this, I didn't once consider following Christianity as a religion.

However, back then I was ignorant and since becoming a Christian, I have learnt that not one of my presumptions about the religion was true. It is naive and wrong to assume that every Christian has the same set of beliefs. Aside from there being almost countless denominations, there are also many different interpretations of Biblical events and claims and also varying 'degrees' of Christianity, from fundamental Americans who storm funerals wielding banners saying 'God Hates Fags' to esteemed scientists who base their beliefs on evidence and reason rather than blind faith or extremism.

Despite the fact that in this day and age it is not difficult to do a little research on something, it seems that recently, the done thing amongst atheists is to belittle and mock Christians as much as possible. Now, in stand up comedy it is one thing. I find it funny when comedians rip into theism because I know that they don't mean it. They are mocking the faith for comedic value, in the same way that they mock everything else. However, it is only when respectable scientists like Richard Dawkins do the same thing that I begin to take offence. If you read a book debating the existence of God written from a theistic perspective, such as The Language of God by Francis S. Collins or The Case For a Creator by Lee Strobel, you will find carefully planned arguments for and against the existence of a deity, backed up by science, leaving an open conclusion for the reader to make. Read a Dawkins book on the other hand, and you will find offensive and belittling arguments, taking beliefs and exaggerating them way out of context, generalising all Christians as one and the same, and padding the debate with jokes and digs at those stupid people who believe in an old man sitting in the sky asking for money.

It should be so easy to understand. If you're an atheist, you believe in nothing. There are not strands of atheism. You just don't believe in a deity, just as if you're a theist, you do. With Christianity however, there are countless mini-religions within the same one. To be defined as a Christian, you must hold the belief that there is a God and that he had a son called Jesus who died for our sins. That is it. Some Christians believe that the Virgin Mary must be prayed to and hailed when we do something wrong. Some believe that it is more Christian to donate money to the Vatican in order for the Pope to have a gold toilet seat than to give it to a charity helping the homeless or starving children. Some Christians believe in contraception, some don't. Some believe that sex before marriage isn't a sin as long as you are not being too promiscuous, others believe that even hand holding before marriage is looked down upon by God. Some Christians believe that it is a sin to be gay, despite the fact that countless scholars have shown that this widely held belief about homosexuality as a sin is a result of mistranslations and misunderstandings relating to the context in which it was said. Some Christians worship the Bible, believing it to be the literal word of God, while others believe it to be the word of man, written with the best intentions and inspired by God, but the word of man nonetheless. The variations in beliefs are endless, and all you have to do to see this is do a little research on different denominations and scholarly theories, or even conspiracy theories such as that of Christianity being nothing more than a plagiarism of ancient Pagan religions, or of Jesus possibly having been married and having a human bloodline.

Now, before this turns into a comprehensive guide of every single belief that every Christian in the world has ever held, ever, I will return to my original argument: not all Christians are idiots and it's rude and inaccurate to portray us in that way. Studies have shown that the majority of scientists and doctors believe in God. I won't cite specific studies because no doubt people will be quick to chime in with comments such as "but that's only American scientists" or "but that study doesn't include social scientists" so I'll let you Google it yourself. From my own research, I've found that it's usually just over 50% of scientists that believe in God in any given study, which should quell the the belief that only primitive and uneducated people are religious.

To be perfectly honest, this blog has been a long time coming. I don't spend my time trying to convert people  to Christianity. The majority of my friends are atheists and all of them are pretty vocal and unswerving about their beliefs. I don't try to change that. The one person I have debated with has been Jake, and that's only down to the fact that he went through a phase of cornering me at house parties and asking me to indulge him in friendly arguments about how God doesn't exist, to which I obliged. I've posted a few blogs on religion, but no more than my blogs on things such as Feminism or whatever's going on in the news that happens to annoy me. In short, I am no Christian missionary. I am not someone who brings God into every conversation and looks down upon people who refuse to believe the same things that I do. In fact, it's only through my blog that most people do know of my religion. My friend Becky only recently said "Oh I read your blog, I didn't realise you were religious" and I spend pretty much every waking moment with the girl!

So why then, when I am not harming anybody, do I have to be subject to being mocked and judged based on what I believe in on a regular basis? Someone I was seeing a few months ago used to regularly say "Oh I forgot, you're a good Catholic girl" whenever I disagreed with anything that was fucking stupid. (I'm not a Catholic anyway, but all the same it's annoying not being able to have an opinion on something without people assuming that it's only because it's what Jesus said). I was once in a debate on Facebook about the welfare state, and as soon as the people I was arguing with realised I was a Christian, their arguments stopped being serious and started being more along the lines of "hahaha, what would Jesus do?" and "ooh, arguing with me, not very Christian are you, you're going to hell hahahahaha".

This presumptuous bullshit is the kind of thing that I used to only associate with religious people. They're the narrow-minded ones, I told myself. They're the intolerant ones. But that's not the case at all. Now don't get me wrong, I don't by any means want to be affiliated with all religious people, because I agree that when religion is taken in it's most fundamental form, it is illogical and often dangerous. However, I want to raise the issue that it isn't fair for somebody to assume that I must fit a certain mould just because I believe in a deity. It's just as offensive as me going up to my lesbian friend and saying "why do you have long hair and wear bodycon, you're not a real lesbian" or having a go at a gay man for not being a fan of Lady Gaga.

If I was going to sink to the condescending, mocking level that a lot of atheists are on, I could shut them up within seconds. Without bringing my ego too much into this, I'm intelligent enough to research something and look at every argument that could possibly cast doubt on my faith before I buy into it. I've looked at all the arguments against God and against Christianity. I've spent months reading countless books and scholarly articles on such issues and don't find any of them to be a challenge. Thus, I could turn around and mock you. I could laugh at you, calling you unintelligent and narrow-minded, but I don't. I don't, because other people's beliefs have nothing to do with me and if you want to be an atheist than by all means be an atheist, just don't spend your time trying to cast doubt on other people's faith or to stigmatise a whole group of people based on the actions of a few.

Lust


The inspiration for this blog came from various films and things that I've read recently. The films that have made an impression on me are Dorian Gray and Bel Ami, and other little bits that have inspired me are things we've learnt at uni about psychoanalysis and a couple of sonnets about desire and adultery and all the horrible things that come with them.

In this entry, I'm going to try and figure out just what is so bad about lusting after people.

I always thought that the problem was lust was the hurt that it can cause.

Your partner being unfaithful, feeling used after a one night stand, the person your friend likes preferring you to them, and of course the ridiculous amount of sex in the media. Of course lust hurts people. I'm not alone in thinking that lust is only a problem if it hurts people though. If I was then why would we have clichés such as 'what he doesn't know won't hurt him' and the like?

However. Recently, my opinion has changed. If lust was only wrong because people get hurt as a result of it then why do we all not just give into every seedy impulse that we may have and just make sure that nobody finds out?

The opportunity for a drunken fumble with a stranger on holiday presents itself to you. Nobody at home ever need know. So why not give into temptation and never speak of it again? After all, as Oscar Wilde said, 'the only way to rid a temptation is to yield to it'. Right?

Well no actually. It isn't right. You see, it's not so much other people you need to be thinking about with regards to the damage that lust creates. It's the effect of it on one's soul. Lust is more than sex. It's lying, becoming two different people, putting your own desires before anybody else's.

Once we begin to live like Dorian Gray or Georges Duroy and doing whatever we want, safe in the knowledge that nobody will find out, we convince ourselves that our actions will have no consequences. And  though they may not have a direct impact on our lives, the indirect damage that is caused will still be there, we just may choose not to see it.

As our conscience becomes weaker and it's voice grows quieter, we don't notice the growing distance between ourselves and those that we are lying to. How can you be close to somebody if you can't even be genuine enough to be honest with them, never mind the fact that you shouldn't have anything to own up to in the first place?

We lie to ourselves you see. We justify things, masking them in fact and logic. 'He'll never know', or 'it meant nothing so what's the point in creating unnecessary drama' or even 'it's none of his business'. See, we put things on other people too much, blind to the fact that we're becoming cold, callous liars with no concept of what love is. We separate sex from love and use this as our excuse to do whatever we please, lying to people and manipulating them in order to get what we want.

So what if we never get found out? It doesn't make it right! If a man masturbates over his daughter but never acts upon his desires or speaks about them to anyone, he is no less of a paedophile than if he'd raped her every night.

Because as Oscar Wilde also said 'It is in the brain, and the brain only that the great sins of the world take place', and as Jesus himself said 'I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart'.

The Bible, with it's strict attitudes towards sex, stresses time and time again that God looks upon the heart, not the actions. Being deceitful of anything you may have done is worse than hurting people with the truth. Whether or not you believe in God or Christianity, this message is an important one and cannot be denied. The intentions of the heart determine what kind of person you are, not how talented you are at maintaining a double life and 'protecting' your wife from the knowledge that while she thinks you're working late you're actually paying for a happy ending at a massage parlour or shoving banknotes down a stripper's thong.
I guess what I'm trying to stress is that our ideals are all wrong. Most people I meet (girls as well as boys) see sex as something that doesn't matter. They see promiscuity as something that should be aspired to rather than shied away from, and you're not considered normal in today's society if you haven't had a drunken threesome, a fuck buddy and a whole list of one night stands that you've picked up in the coolest indie nightclub.

I guess it doesn't matter if you're single and being upfront with the people you're involved with about what it is you want, but if you're not, if you know that you are using people and that your life would be different if people knew your real intentions then you might want to think about just how bad what you're doing is.
Giving into lust does not satisfy anybody. It is the most imperfect pleasure, a lie. It promises to fulfil your desires but all it does is temporarily cool you down before coming back and burning with an even harder flame. It leaves you lying in bed with a stranger thinking 'is this it?', with an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach that only makes you want even more meaningless, illicit sex in the hope of filling the void.
It won't work.

Lust is like opium, and giving into it is taking that first drag. At first, with your 'man points' and list of gorgeous conquests you may feel on top of the world but it won't be long until everybody around you has settled down and you're left in the same clubs with the same chat up lines, wondering why nobody will stick around long enough to love you, wondering why you find it so hard to be really close to somebody and to lust after them and them alone.

Flash Fiction


Okay so this is something I whacked out in today's seminar on flash fiction. Flash fiction is fiction (oddly enough) that tells a story in around 100 words. Every word is important, and from it, the reader is supposed to be able to work out the characters, context and predict what will happen next. In short (no pun intended) the writer has 100 words in which to work a miracle. If the reader cannot understand the situation, or the characters, then your job is not being done properly.
Have a go with this.
Also, before you read it, bear in mind that it is fictitious. Freud would say that some repressed sexual desire is trying to manifest itself here, and you can believe it if you wish, but this scenario is fictional and has not happened. And I do not really do this to poor little innocent boys.


His eyes were earnest; innocent but nervous, knowing that he shouldn't be here. Not with me. Alone, away from everybody. From her. 
She'd be at home, their home, looking at the clock and planning what they'd have for tea, what film they'd watch. 
He thought he was in love with me, he'd told me so.
Idiot.
I leaned forwards, closer until our lips were a whisper away from meeting, eyes wide. Feigned innocence. 
Kiss me.
Of course he did; the kind of lazy, sloppy kiss people tend to adopt when the're in vanilla relationships, safe behind white picket fences. 
I'm the girl his mother warned him about.