I've been wanting to write about this concept for a while but I've not really known just what to say, or how to say it because I've never really met anybody who shares my opinion on the matter, and so, at the risk of alienating everybody who reads this here goes...
We've all heard of The Homewrecker haven't we? She's that girl that you don't really know, sometimes the one you never even met, who has a devastating impact on your life by taking away that which is everything to you. She comes, seemingly from nowhere, and takes that which is yours with no apologies, only a smug grin as she runs her fingers through your (now ex) boyfriend's hair.
And wasn't life just perfect until she came along? Everything was going so well until her. You had a future, he was The One. You'd even, fleetingly, when you were both cosied up in a post-coital embrace, spoke about forever together. And now, because of some heartless bitch who, for some reason, has made it her life's mission to destroy your happiness, it's all over.
Perhaps you found out through a text message. He was in the shower, his phone winking at you from the table, and before you knew what was happening it was in your hands. You don't quite know why you were looking. Of course you trusted him completely. You just wanted proof, right? You didn't need it but you were bored, you just knew there'd be nothing to see anyway so what would be the harm in just taking a sneak peak, right? Wrong.
Instantly you blame the girl. 'Who the hell is she, putting too many x's and flirting with my little puddikins? Who does she think she is? I'm gonna find that bitch!' and from then on that's what she is. That's what she is when you tell all your friends about her, when you send her an angry message calling her every name under the sun, when you see her around school and glare at her. You hate her. She ruined your life.
Not him of course. He was your everything, incapable of doing wrong. You know him better than anyone, so you know that he wouldn't ever do anything like that if Devil Woman hadn't tempted him. He'd have gone to his grave only having eyes for you had she not come along.
Now if you will, let me please fucking rewind a minute. HE, your little angel, your everything, he who purported to care about you has gone behind your back to flirt with another girl, or even cheat on you with her, and you blame her? How is she expected to have any loyalty to you? She's never met you, she may not even know about your existence. It does happen, you know.
I've had it happen to me. A boy spins you a line about how he's so unhappy in his relationship he's thinking about ending it, all he wants to do is go on dates with you, kiss you, .... you. The next time you see him and he says that he's finished with her. He buys you drinks and of course you have a flirt with him. And maybe a cheeky text or two the day after. Why wouldn't you? Are you, the female public, telling me that you would do any different? I'm sure some of you would, of course, tell the guy where to stick it but unfortunately the world cannot be full of angels and I am not one of those people. Fucking shoot me. If it's any consolation, I wouldn't have done had I known the amount of people that would want to crucify me for doing so. It apparently doesn't matter that I'd been told the relationship was over (that's a fact that has been happily ignored in the midst of what a terrible person I was for doing so and how I'm going to burn in hell). Of course, the guy's now back with his girlfriend and I am the Wicked Witch of the West for giving him the time of day. Point in hand.
'Oh but you can't understand how it feels if you've never had it happen to you' well actually, yes I can because I have. After I saved my wacko ex boyfriend's life (literally, don't even ask) I received messages off a girl telling me of how he'd been cheating on me since before we even made it Facebook official. She sent me printscreens of conversations, photographs of the presents he'd sent her (the same as the ones he'd given me, aah!), all sorts. Do I blame her? Of course not! Yeah, she knew I existed but when a boy with a silver tongue is feeding you a line, somehow the girlfriend seems irrelevant. Why would I be pissed that somebody that doesn't know me is being taken in by my boyfriends lies? If she was my best friend or something then it may be a different story but I'd never even met the girl, I didn't really see a point in disliking her.
I've heard so many girls say that if their boy cheated then they'd take him back and only hold it against the girl. I can't understand it. What is this concept of 'sisterhood' that we, as girls, are expected to adhere to, even when we've never met the girl whose feelings we are supposed to be protecting? Sisterhood is bullshit. Sisterhood is just another word for friendship, and should only apply to friends. Of course I'd never do something that would hurt one of my friends, and that has, in the past, resulted in me stepping back from a guy I like because I know a friend does That's not called 'sisterhood' though, it's called not being a cunt. I wouldn't do the same for somebody I didn't know. Fuck, if I saw some random in a club trying to get on a guy I liked I'd be hopping on him quicker than...anything. (I tried to think of a funny analogy there but things in my mind just got very rude and I didn't think it appropriate to write what I came up with).
Why should we spare the feelings of girls we don't know? If I can see a future with somebody then I'm not going to compromise that for anything. After all, what would last longer, a relationship or a brief drunken friendship with some girl whose name I won't remember in the morning? Humans are selfish creatures. You can go to religion or science to find the answers about humanity, and while they may differ in many ways, both will lead to the same conclusion about humans and their selfish desires. While religion sees that as a fault, a product of Satan, and science sees it as survival instinct, neither deny The Selfish Gene and neither should you. Richard Dawkins even wrote a book about it, and we all know he's right about everything so it must be true.
