Nice Guys DO finish last

It's an argument I've been hearing ever since I can remember. Now, Nice Guys finishing last is something I've already touched upon in my blog about The Friend Zone, which you can find here, but I feel like I need to elaborate on the Nice Guys themselves and why womankind hates them so much and so here we are.

'Nice Guys finish last, all girls want to date assholes, there's no point being nice to girls because Nice Guys finish last so I'm gonna treat all girls like shit instead.' 

I'm sure almost every girl has heard this at somepoint in her life and I'm even more sure that there are a lot of guys on my Facebook friends list who have uttered something along the lines of this upon being rejected/dumped/bored of masturbating and wanting some no strings sex with a real live woman.

Probably then, a lot of these so-called Nice Guys are going to disagree with what I'm about to say and mask their own insecurities as anger in true caveman style aaand to be honest I don't care. It's my blog. That means I'm right. Also, I am a girl, and therefore in a better position to know whether or not I am attracted to assholes or genuinely nice guys (note: not Nice Guys. There is a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy) than every single one of you bitter little boys who thinks that they have the monopoly on the female brain just because the hottest girl in high school rejected them in favour of some asshole who highlighted his hair and played football better than you.

Okay, so first of all, what is the difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy? If I have to spell it out to you, you're already doing it wrong but here we go. A nice guy is somebody who takes others feelings into consideration and doesn't treat girls badly by lying to them or cheating on them etc. It's a simple as that. It is not to say then, that a nice guy cannot also be confident, flirtatious, stylish and successful with the ladies. A nice guy is every girl's dream man. He knows what he wants in life, has his own hobbies and interests, knows when to take the lead but also treats his girl with respect and as an equal. Sometimes he gets rejected by girls but he just accepts this as a fact of life. He isn't bitter about all the girls that have treated him badly in the past and he doesn't hold the entire female population responsible.

A Nice Guy on the other hand, is the complete opposite. You can't fail to spot a Nice Guy because he will spend the majority of his time telling you just what a Nice Guy he is. If a girl rejects him, it cannot be because they have nothing in common or that she just doesn't find him attractive. It will be because he is a Nice Guy and all girls just want to be abused because we all have daddy issues and would rather be smacked about by  some asshole on a motorbike than treated like an actual human being (even though motorbikes are undeniably hot). Nice Guys blame the entire female population for their own inadequacies and will consequently see any successful guy as an asshole, based solely on the fact that he is confident and secure in his own skin..

So why then, do Nice Guys finish last?

1. Nice Guys oversimplify. They think that if a girl isn't interested in them, it must be because he is Nice. This is bullshit. I have never met a girl who doesn't like nice people. Everybody likes nice people. Have you ever heard anybody saying 'I fucking hate that guy. He's so nice. Ew.' No, you haven't, because nobody fucking says it. The reason she's not interested probably has nothing to do with the fact that you're nice and don't get kicks out of killing kittens.
2. Okay, so some girls do end things with the excuse of 'you're just too nice.' I'll make it simple for you: she's lying to spare your feelings. What she really means is that she just wants to be single and sleep around and being with you is just not exciting enough for her. Or that you're boring. Or that she's sick of always taking the lead in everything because you're so bothered about not upsetting her. Maybe she means that you're not funny enough. I don't know. What I do know is that she isn't ending it because you're too nice. She just doesn't have the heart or a decent enough vocabulary to say anything else. Or maybe she's just not that nice. Ever considered that? A Suicide Girl isn't going to date fucking McLovin. Shit like that just doesn't happen. No girl wants to feel as though she is corrupting an innocent little virgin. It doesn't make us feel good. There is a reason Megan Fox isn't dating a maths geek who nobody has heard of. We want someone that's on a par with us. 
3. Nice Guys are boring. Sorry but they are. A girl doesn't want conversation that never progresses beyond 'how are you?' and 'what are you up to?' Give her some excitement! God, include a winky face every once in a while. It's not hard. Honestly, keep doing what you're doing and it won't be long before some smouldering hunk whisks her away with his cheeky text messages and innuendos and you'll be sitting there complaining about how she is a witch who hates nice people. 
4. TRY HARDER. Just make some fucking effort.
5. Don't pretend to be her friend. It's creepy. Make your intentions clear. There's nothing worse than a guy who worms his way into a girl's friendship group, does everything he can to hide his true feelings and then complains when a guy comes along and woos her with a more direct approach. Even worse is guys who pretend to be a girl's friend in the hope of something magically blossoming and then moaning about being Friend-Zoned. Well of course you've been friend-zoned, you've been acting like her fucking gay best friend for the past two years. 
6. Don't be clingy. Ever heard of the saying 'treat em mean, keep em keen'? Nice Guys like to take this literally and use it as evidence for their stupid claims about Nice Guys finishing last but in reality it means don't come on too strongly. Most people get put off by somebody that moves too quickly, that texts them every five minutes and wants to see them every minute of the fucking day. She has a life of her own and so do you. Don't forget about it as soon as you meet a pretty girl. Nobody likes to be put on a pedestal by somebody they've only just met. It's creepy. 
7. Something Nice Guys tend to acquire is 'Girlfriend Syndrome'. This is where a guy desperately wants a girlfriend. He doesn't much care who the girl is or if they have anything in common, he just wants somebody to treat like a princess. As cute and romantic as the latter part may sound, a girl wants to feel special. She doesn't want to feel like your third choice. Oh, and don't do clichés like flowers and chocolates and chick flicks. While stuff like that can be okay sometimes, a girl will know when you're doing the same things you've done to woo all your other girlfriends. Pay attention to her and what she likes.  
8. It is not a girl's fault if she just doesn't like you. We all like different people and if she just doesn't feel a connection or any sexual chemistry with you then it doesn't matter how nice you are to her, it's not going to work. If it did work, you wouldn't be finishing 'first' because eventually you'd both realise that you aren't well suited and probably end up more miserable than you would have done had you just accepted that at the start of the relationship. A woman is not a 'reward'. A girl isn't something you get given in exchange for doing certain things. The bible says that good works do not earn your place in heaven. It's the same with Nice Guys and vaginas. 
9. Nice Guys spend too much time feeling sorry for themselves. They are so egotistical and bitter about the female species that I would go so far as to assert that they are not nice at all because nice people are not as arrogant and bigoted as this. Maybe if all the Nice Guys of the world stopped obsessing over their own nice-ness and instead concentrated on somebody else (namely, the girl in question), they would have better luck. If you are genuinely nice, you won't need to tell everybody how nice you are and as a result will reap the benefits. 

Understood?

I just want to end by citing a couple of real examples about Nice Guys vs. nice guys and why the Nice Guys finished last. I don't want to be too specific so I'm not going to tell you whether these people were in my life last week or last year but that shouldn't matter anyway so here we go. 

A Nice Guy I met was possibly the most arrogant and bigoted person out of every single boy I have ever been involved with. He droned on endlessly about how all his ex-girlfriends were bitches who had cheated on him or lied to him or some other shit that I didn't and still don't care about, told me over and over how nice he was and how all his friends were more successful with girls than he was even though he was a much nicer person. He took me on a date and turned up about two hours late without an apology, and upon arriving at the restaurant told me that he'd already eaten so we'd just be having starters. He then spent the entire date talking shit about girls who had treated him badly by behaving like sluts and whores and how much of a moral person he was. He then told me he could see no future with us because I was friends with my ex. As if I wasn't already spitting with indignation! I'd actually already kissed one of his friends about two years earlier but it was more down the the fact that the guy was funnier, more flirtatious and less on his fucking moral high horse than whether or not he was a fucking "Nice Guy."

Now onto the nice guys. I don't have one specific example of a genuine nice guy because I go for nice guys. I like people who make the effort to see me, pay me compliments, text me, yada yada yada. Genuine nice guys aren't bitter and constantly putting down other people for not living as moral a life as they are. THAT IS WHAT IS APPEALING ABOUT THEM. They are themselves, happy in their own skin. They may drink and smoke and have sex but they are still nice. 

The difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy is that a nice guy gets the girls by being himself whereas Nice Guys will always finish last because they are forever in a bubble of bitterness, indignation and warped logic regarding women. Nice Guys just aren't nice people. That, my friends, is why they finish last.