Sorting through some old Cosmopolitan magazines, I found an article dedicated to the pursuit of encouraging women to fantasize about people other than their partners during sex. "Sexperts" told of how fantasies are "necessary" to maintain a healthy and loving relationship and how "he won't know so what's the big deal?"
What's the big deal? I'll come to that in a minute.
Another article was a (one-sided) "debate" on pornography and whether we should care if our partners bust one out over another (thinner, more enthusiastic) woman. Two out of three women questioned advocated the use of MORE porn, one saying "it's masturbation, not murder". Now, I could rant for days about the damage that porn does to society but that's another topic. Surveys show that men who watch a lot of porn find it harder to get aroused by "real" women and the same goes for people who constantly fantasize about people other than their partner in the bedroom.
If you lust over somebody other than your partner (yes there is a difference between "She's pretty" and "Oh my DAYS I would smashhh that sideways"), then you are cheating on them, plain and simple. Adultery isn't just a physical act, it is a mental one too and yet in our evermore liberal society we tend to forget that. Does nobody ever stop to think that maybe such relaxed attitudes towards fidelity are the reason why divorce rates are higher than ever?
"I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:27
What's more, as well as mentally committing adultery, you are also lying to your partner if you do not tell them this. Cheating and lying. doesn't sound like such a healthy relationship now, does it? You may think that this is melodramatic but feeling attraction to someone is what turns a pair of best friends into a couple, it is what distinguishes a romantic relationship from any other relationship and so is not a feeling to be throwing around to any old pair of boobs or legs.
If you are madly in love with somebody then you should only have room for that person in your heart and if you don't then there is something wrong in the relationship. Soul mates don't fantasize about other people as there is no one else that they want to be with and if you do want to be with somebody other than your partner than the relationship isn't working and you need to end it rather than lying to yourself by pretending that it's normal to feel the way you do. (note: I am talking about committed adult relationships here, not meaningless flings.)
On stag parties for example, by all means get drunk and do silly things like boys do but why base the night on paying money to perv on someone other than your fiance in some seedy strip club? It's not like you're even looking at somebody who wants you: sex workers resent their desperate customers. I understand that people try to justify such behaviour by saying "Well it's my last night of freedom" but no, it isn't. By the time you get engaged to somebody, you are not "free", you gave that up when you made the decision to enter into the relationship in the first place. Engaged couples are supposed to be in love and if she's not even the centre of your attraction right before you tie the knot, she's never gonna be.
Love and sex should be beautiful. Sex is not only when two people literally become one, being the closest that any two people can be, but it can also result in the most pleasurable physical sensation that exists and also in the creation of new life. Come on guys, stop disrespecting both sex and your relationships and let's start trying to be good people.
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